A Burden Shed
by Goldenfool704
Summary: Merlin decides it is finally time to tell Arthur his secret. One-shot. No slash. Takes place sometime after season four.


Merlin strode purposefully down the corridor. Or at least he tried to. It was actually more of a slow trudge. There was an anxious pit in his stomach that he couldn't seem to eliminate.

Ever since Arthur had been crowned king, things had been growing more and more dangerous in Camelot. Over the last few months he had saved Arthur's life so many times he had lost count. Not that Arthur knew anything about that, of course. He continued to think that Merlin was useless. And although it often galled him, Merlin would have been content to let it stay that way, using magic to protect Arthur in secret.

Even though Arthur had a much more benevolent attitude toward magic than Uther had, sorcerers were still viewed with suspicion, with good reason in many cases. Merlin knew that there were magic users who, like Morgana, would be happy to see Arthur dead. This, along with other countries and rulers who coveted Arthur's land, put the king in almost constant danger. And it was what had finally made up Merlin's mind.

Although Gaius had cautioned him against it, and although his own instincts warned him, he had decided that the only way he could fully protect Arthur was by revealing his magic to him. If he didn't have to worry about anyone finding out his secret, then he could use magic openly and much more effectively. It was the most logical course of action he could come up with, and was what he was on his way to do at that moment.

Of course, the only problem was how Arthur might react. This was the reason for the knot of anxiety inside him. He had imagined a dozen different scenes in his mind. Would Arthur despise him for his magic? Feel betrayed that he hadn't revealed it earlier? Have him banished? Or perhaps even executed? No, surely not that. No matter how angry he might be with Merlin, it still didn't erase all they had been through together.

Or so he told himself. In all honesty, he didn't have a clue as to what might happen. A picture of Arthur angrily shouting that he had betrayed his trust and was no longer welcome in Camelot flashed through Merlin's mind. He shuddered, but continued walking. It seemed to take years, but at last he stood outside the door to Arthur's chambers. He took a deep breath, trying to quell his nervousness, and knocked.

"Enter!" a voice called. Fighting down another wave of anxiety, Merlin opened the door and went inside. Arthur was in the process of pulling on his boots when he looked up and saw Merlin.

"Ah! There you are, Merlin. I have a meeting to attend and I require your assistance," he said standing up.

"Actually, sire, there is a matter I wished to discuss with you," Merlin tried to say calmly.

"Can't it wait? This is an important meeting," Arthur said looking mildly irritated.

"I think you'll find that what I have to say is of some importance too."

Arthur sighed. "Oh, all right then. But this had better not waste my time. What is it?"

Merlin hesitated. "I think you should sit down."

Arthur frowned, but took a seat on his unmade bed. Merlin still stood, awkward and unsure of how to begin.

"Well don't just stand there looking nervous," Arthur said. "You might as well take a seat too."

When Merlin failed to move, Arthur pointed to a chair and commanded, "Sit!"

Merlin obeyed this time, but sat uneasily and still didn't say anything. Arthur glared at him impatiently, and after a moment Merlin gathered his courage and began, "This may come as a bit of a shock to you." He hesitated again, but continued, "There's something that I haven't told you, that I haven't told anyone."

A look of realization was slowly dawning over Arthur's face, but Merlin was busy gathering his thoughts and didn't notice.

Merlin sighed. "Look, there's no way to break this easily, so I'm just going to go right out and say it. You might hate me after this, but I can't keep it a secret anymore."

There was a weighty pause. He felt as though his fate and the fate of Camelot hung in the balance. This was the moment. Depending on how this conversation went, he would either be well on his way to fulfilling his destiny, or would have failed in everything he had been striving for. For a moment, his courage almost deserted him.

Then he took a deep breath. At long last, Merlin said the words he had been trying to say for years.

"I'm a warlock. I was born with magic, and I've known how to use it for as long as I can remember. It's not something I chose. But magic is in my blood, and it's a part of me. I wouldn't change that even if I could. I hope you can accept me for what I am."

There. He had said it at last. He stopped and waited apprehensively for an outburst. But Arthur didn't say anything. He just looked at Merlin.

"Is that all you wanted to say?" Arthur asked, his face unreadable. Merlin nodded nervously, waiting for the words that might possibly be his doom.

Arthur was quiet for a moment. Then he gave an odd sort of half smile.

"I was wondering when you would screw up the nerve to tell me," he said.

Merlin stared at him, speechless. It was as though Arthur had spoken in a foreign language. He simply couldn't comprehend the meaning of his words.

Arthur sighed. "Honestly, Merlin, did you really think I didn't know?" he asked.

Merlin finally found his voice. "How – how long have you known?" he choked out.

Arthur shrugged. "A few months. Maybe a year. You're not exactly an expert at subtlety. You can't honestly expect to be able to constantly blast people through the air in battle and not have anyone notice. Not to mention how you always manage to survive, even though you have absolutely no fighting skills to speak of."

"Does anyone else know?" Merlin asked, still trying to get his head around the idea that Arthur already knew his secret.

"No, not unless you've told anyone. I figured it was your business who to tell, not mine."

"And – and you're not angry with me?" Merlin said disbelievingly.

Arthur shook his head. "Merlin, of course I'm not angry with you. I understand your reasons for keeping this from me. If anyone had found out while my father was still alive, you would have been executed. And though I like to think I'm a wiser king than my father was, you couldn't have known what my reaction would be. I'm just glad you finally decided to trust me."

"I can't believe this," Merlin said slowly. "All these years I've wanted to tell you, but I was too scared of how you might react. You're truly not upset?"

"It was a bit hard to handle at first," Arthur admitted. "I thought I knew you, and then I discovered there's a whole other side to you. I felt betrayed. But in time I realized that you hadn't changed, just my perception of you. Magic is who you are. And if I can't accept that, then I'm a poor excuse for a friend." Arthur hesitated, and then looking down said a bit awkwardly, "And you are my friend. You're my only friend, really. I've never told you…but I want you to know that I value our friendship more than anything." He looked up, meeting Merlin's eyes and said steadily, "And nothing is ever going to change that. Magic included."

Merlin couldn't speak for a moment. There was a lump in his throat and he felt an overwhelming relief. The burden he had carried for so long was gone. Arthur knew. And he didn't care. It was more than he could have hoped for.

"Arthur…" he managed, "I can't tell you what this means to me. I – "

Arthur grabbed a pillow off his bed and threw it at Merlin.

"Oh, shut up, Merlin. Don't go getting all sappy on me." He stood up briskly. "Besides, you still need to help me get ready for that meeting. Oh, and I have some chores for you to do…"

Merlin grimaced, standing up. Apparently some things never changed. But as he made up Arthur's bed, listening to him recite a list of chores, he couldn't help but grin. His heart was lighter than it had been in months, and he felt oddly optimistic in a way that he couldn't quite explain. He knew there were still many dangers they both faced. There were still many problems in the kingdom, and he still didn't know what the future might hold. But as he worked, he whistled, and knew that somehow everything would turn out all right. And that was enough for now.

* * *

_Author's Note: _

_Thanks for reading! Reviews are much appreciated. Constructive criticism welcome._


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